Hi, my name is Lisa and I am a sleep-popper.

I've felt out of sorts lately. Just off. I got back from my marathon 2 week trip and let myself fall into a bad pattern - late nights, late mornings, laziness. (Though I have been really good about getting to the gym!) When I was in high school and college, I used to get these out of body experiences for several days at a time. I know it was completely sleep-deprivation. And I haven't quite felt like that lately, but just off. Not depressed, but not totally happy. I've fallen back into insomnia. I feel like I haven't been super productive at work. I threw my keys in the dumpster!

But then Wednesday hit. I got insane. All of a sudden I was in "on" mode. Lunch with a friend, a mani, meetings to schedule, a board member to coordinate with, a speech to write, birthday presents to buy and ship (to somewhere in the West Pacific), guests to prepare for, an egg-laying bird . . . you name it, I have to do it. Well shit, I can't NOT sleep!

Wednesday night, I'm pretty exhausted, so I figure, yes! I am totally good tonight. I crawl into bed at 11p, read until almost midnight, turn out the lights. At 12:30, I am still wide awake. Alright, I need to be up at 7a and ON. So I pop half an ambien. Out not too much longer. Morning comes, the snooze button gets lots of action and I drag myself up. I'm brushing my teeth when I have this memory pop into my head - I had woken up with leg twitches in the middle of the night and got up, and thought, I'll just take some more ambien. Wait, what?! I'm spitting, thinking, I totally dreamed that. I drag my drowsy body to the bed to make it and grab my water glass when, duh duh duh, I notice the open bottle. Oh yeah, I didn't dream that. Apparently I did wake up in the middle of the night and take more ambien. OMG, I am one of those people on TV who eat a loaf of bread without remembering it or drive their car somewhere in the middle of the night. Ahh!

Well, I have no time to deal right now. I've gotta get on the road for my first meeting. Amazing how little I remember of it! But I stumble through, hop in the car and head for OC.

And this is where it just gets awful. My first meeting is over coffee. I've already had a cup, but I'm not going to turn down a second. And as we all know, I pee a lot. So that meeting ends, I hit the road and head to South Coast Plaza for my next meeting, arriving early. And OMG, I have to pee. Now! I park and run into Saks. I sit down and ahh . . . As I stand up, I hear a splash and notice that the ties on the back of my shirt are hanging in the toilet. Yes, that's right. I have a pee shirt. Come on!

I rinse everything out at the sink but am not showing up to my next meeting in a pee shirt. Well thank the Lord I'm in Saks. A new shirt on my back, one ordered and a red dress later, and I'm off to my next meeting. Whew! No hitches.

So I am finally headed home, skipping a stop back in Saks for a desperately needed pair of Spanks. I'm listening to the Hobbit in the car and man, there is a lot of singing in that book! Have you ever noticed that? I hate songs in books because it's just words in italics and I have no idea what the tune is. Usually I just skip the songs. At least listening to the Hobbit I can hear someone sing the songs, though they all sound oddly similar.

So I spent the late afternoon unwinding and worrying about my mental health. The pills are up high. And I'm searching under my hair for that little "reset" button that needs a safety pin to push. It's like my brain just isn't screwed on tight enough to my spine right now. The impulses are all kinds of messed up.

So tonight I'm doing things the old-fashioned way. A nice dinner, 30 minutes at the gym, a cold lavender pillow, low lights and a Bailey's-laced hot chocolate. Good night!