The management at my apartment complex is retarded! They don't listen to a damn thing you say. Remember last summer when I went into the office to complain that the dog downstairs, who was obviously sick, was pooping on the porch? And they'd just leave it there for days, letting the smell waft upstairs . . . And I got a lecture about how I'm cruel to animals. Um, is it cruel to ask the owner to pick up the poop??

So today I noticed a Jeep in my friend Keri's parking spot. I know she's shopping for a car so I thought she'd gotten one. But then I noticed the old and beat up license plate. That was at about noon when I was watering the plants. I ran a few errands around 1:30p and noticed the back door to the Jeep open and a guy sitting in there. I thought maybe his kid had fallen asleep and so he was sitting with the baby while it napped. I came back after about 30 minutes and he was still sitting in the car with the door open. Hmm . . . Around 4p I took Chip to the pet hotel and the guy was still in the backseat. When I got back around 5p, still there . . .

So I grabbed my mailbox keys and stopped in the office to ask about the weird guy sitting in the car. The same woman who told me to have a heart over a smelly porch was in the office. She walked out of her office and had a view out the window of my little parking area and the Jeep. First she asked if I was looking for a place to live. I said, no. I started to tell her that I'd noticed the black Jeep and a guy sitting in the backseat all day long. And she said, oh, you live in 4-202? I don't see you very much. I said, yeah, I travel a lot. So that Jeep has been sitting here all day and there's a man sitting in the back. She interrupts - Is it under the carport? I said yes. Which one? Is it that one? And she points out mine and says, that's not under the carport. I said, I know, that's my car. The black one. And she says, oh, is he in your spot? Because that spot belongs to 1-202. I said, I know. I'm friends with them and that is not their car. Oh, she says, I know which spot that is. It belongs to an apartment over there, and she points somewhere else random. I almost started yelling! I said, I'm not concerned about the spot! I have never seen that car before and it's been parked there all day - there is a man sitting in the backseat! She said, has he gotten out? OK, what relevance is that?? But I said, no. He has the back door open, but has been sitting inside all day. It's starting to get dark and I think it's odd. Do you know anything about this situation? Finally! She says, well it might be a friend or relative of them, and again points to the random apartment. She says, I'll look into it. Thank you for letting me know.

OMG, it was so painful! If she would let you finish talking, it would conversations much shorter and people like her a lot better!

And speaking of weirdness in that office, my friend Keri found a typed note taped to her door a few months ago telling her that she's gorgeous. Her husband was in Iraq and she's on the first floor - understandably creeped out. She took the note to the office and the manager told her it was cute and just a funny love note and dismissed her! It's no wonder the office doesn't recognize me - why would I want to go down there and talk to them?